It’s hard to argue with the numbers he’s put up so far this year: Blue Jays starter J.A. Happ has, for the most part, been pitching like a stud. A lot of Jays fans were upset when the team didn’t make an offer to fellow lefty David Price after he joined the team for a run to the playoffs last year. The team DID sign Happ, however, which I think some people took as an effort to replace Price as a lefty in the starting rotation. While most people said that Happ is in no way a replacement for Price, he’s actually got a better record (13-3) and ERA (3.27) than Price (9-7, 4.51 ERA) so far this season than Price. Also, his last win set a career high for him in that department, and the season’s just over halfway done.
So yes, Happ’s second stint being based out of Canada is going pretty well, except for one aspect: the milk.
— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) July 16, 2016
People from a certain part of our country will tell you bagged milk is a Canadian thing, but that’s not entirely true. Canadians who live along the west coast seem equally perplexed at our use of bags to sell milk instead of big jugs. Here in Ontario, however, that’s the norm. Even still, after a couple years service with the Jays, Happ revealed to Sportsnet reporter Kristina Rutherford that he still doesn’t understand the milk situation here:
Is there anything you’re still not used to in Canada?
I think I’ve gotten used to most of the stuff. Grocery shopping is a little different. I still don’t understand the bagged milk situation here.
You guys sell milk in bags and I don’t really get why, or what you do then with the bags. Other than that it seems like Canada’s doing a pretty good job. [Laughs.] But I don’t get the milk. Put it in a gallon jug so you don’t have the sloppy, messy bag.
You know you put the bag in a milk jug, right?
Where’s the jug? Do you have to buy the jug separately? Why are they not in the jug already?
Oh my gosh. You have to ask someone at the grocery store for help.
Why do I have to ask? I should just grab it from the counter and it should be ready for me to drink.
There’s an assumption that you know to put the bag in a milk jug and cut it open.
[Laughs]. They can’t assume that. I’ve never bought it because I see this bag of milk and I’m like I don’t get what I can do with this thing.
J.A., I can’t believe this.
[Laughs.] We need a memo sent out to all American players on how Canada dispenses its milk. Would you prefer to have a gallon of milk or a bag or milk? You can pick up a gallon and walk out of the store. Or you can try to figure out how to drink your bagged milk.
I think I have to bring you a milk jug.
That would be great.
The Dairy Farmers of Ontario chimed in with a reminder that former Jays had been perplexed by the same thing, but that they were there to help out:
But in case he’s still confused, I came across this helpful video that will explain it all to him. J.A., you’re welcome.
Now that THAT is taken care of, I guess we just need to make sure he’s pronouncing “Milk” properly, since so many people seem to have a different pronunciation:
Just give him the freakin’ mulk!