If you’ve ever found yourself sitting on the toilet, having forgotten your smartphone elsewhere, you probably wondered what you were going to do for the next however long you’ll be in there. I mean, since we’ve had portable entertainment devices that we can take anywhere with us, people tend to take more time to take care of business in the bathroom.
I guess it’s not exactly a new concept – getting informed while answering the call of nature. Before phones were around, it was newspapers and magazines. Sometimes in a pinch, reading the label on the can of air freshener would have to do.
I mean, there is a whole line of books specifically made to be read on the toilet. Ever heard of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? There are a ton of different editions:
— Portable Press (@PortablePress) May 12, 2014
If you ever find yourself stuck without any reading material at all, however, you may be stuck for ideas on what to do to occupy your brain while your backside occupies the toilet. As long as you’ve got a roll of toilet paper handy, though, you can create some music with it!
I’m not suggesting you just put the roll up to your mouth and sing through it (though if you wanted to, that’s cool too. Go for it). Nope, as it turns out, a roll of toilet paper can actually make a pretty decent instrument. Don’t believe me? Well, watch YouTuber and musician Ben Wonder show you how it’s done:
I’m guessing there’s no relation between Ben Wonder and Stevie Wonder, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also possess a keen sense of what makes a good hook in a song. I mean… Try not to tap your toes to this ol’ ditty:
In fact, I would almost say that Ben Wonder possesses a gift of hearing music where nobody else does. For example: Does the sound of somebody chewing loudly drive you crazy? It actually drives a lot of people crazy – but Ben Wonder managed to turn the sounds of pizza into a catchy song:
As you can see, if you know what you’re doing with a sampler and a sequencing program, you can turn just about anything into a sick beat with enough tweaking.
One thing that I would’ve liked to see was him explaining how he’s tweaking each recording to turn it into a usable sample. Obviously there’s some work going on behind the scenes. However, I assume most laypeople wouldn’t know the difference anyway.
Fortunately, Torontonian Andrew Huang makes similar videos, and he made one of him using a single sample of Donald Trump sniffling and turning it into a song, complete with (very briefly) breaking down everything he’s doing as he does it.
Here he is showing you how to make music with only a kitchen pot:
That Trump one reminds me a lot of probably my favourite Trump remix:
Anyway, next time you’re in the bathroom and forgot your phone, try making some music with the toilet paper roll. It may not sound great, but it’ll keep you occupied for a bit anyway.